pacific coast highway

'jesus, gus'... that's what mom said... i woke up at that but kept my eyes closed... gus tried to calm her down, but i could tell he was scared too... they didn't want to scare me, thought i was still asleep.... i snuck mom's phone from her purse and shot it, emailed it to myself and erased the photo... they never knew i was awake... gus looked back at me, my eyes were closed... he asked mom if she thought it was what he thought it was... she said yes, and then i saw her shoulders start to shake... he patted her on the leg and she started crying... he said 'shh' and kept patting her until she stopped... i don't know what time it was, but we left at 9 so i bet it was pretty late... i wanted to poke my head up and look at the ocean all lit up at night like that, but it was probably better i didn't... i never heard them mention it again... by the way, 'gus' isn't his real name... none of us have real names anymore... i never fell back asleep that night... it was hard to fake it, but i couldn't stop thinking... i hoped it wasn't what they thought it was... i was wide awake, but my eyes were closed...